So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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