i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
