I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
