I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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