Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
