I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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