Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
