Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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