Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread