You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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