I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
