thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
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The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
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you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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