there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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