It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
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