we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
