i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
