my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize