But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
