last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I have tasted many bathrooms
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize