yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
