Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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