How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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