Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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