She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
