Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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