and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
