You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
