She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
