The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i came on her dog
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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