We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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