well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
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Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
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No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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