My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Did I show you my penis last night?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
