we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
