Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
