just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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