Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
