this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize