Texts From Last Night

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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers

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  (920): Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers http://tfl.nu/3qjt
  Replies (22) Good night (938) Bad night (548)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.

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  (412): The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN. http://tfl.nu/72t6
  Replies (32) Good night (938) Bad night (3438)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.

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  (774): if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking. http://tfl.nu/oesf
  Replies (8) Good night (1064) Bad night (4297)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.

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  (248): about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me. http://tfl.nu/tnbf
  Replies (9) Good night (3947) Bad night (1072)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely

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  (610): yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely http://tfl.nu/qwih
  Replies (7) Good night (2856) Bad night (932)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well

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  (305): We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well http://tfl.nu/ng2b
  Replies (8) Good night (3174) Bad night (1444)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job

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  (610): When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job http://tfl.nu/gbra
  Replies (4) Good night (3162) Bad night (1125)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before

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  (615): I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before http://tfl.nu/iyr5
  Replies (0) Good night (553) Bad night (587)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.

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  (706): I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever. http://tfl.nu/oprl
  Replies (4) Good night (1293) Bad night (321)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.

  (254): View more from Texas

  It's 2 pm....

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  (940): I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas. (254): It's 2 pm.... http://tfl.nu/onth
  Replies (3) Good night (1810) Bad night (390)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.

  (416): View more from Toronto

  NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.

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  (416): Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement. (416): NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada. http://tfl.nu/6stg
  Replies (6) Good night (1473) Bad night (316)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see

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  (651): Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see http://tfl.nu/afr3
  Replies (6) Good night (1442) Bad night (344)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.

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  (706): Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed. http://tfl.nu/1l89
  Replies (5) Good night (1084) Bad night (303)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people

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  (425): Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people http://tfl.nu/m00z
  Replies (8) Good night (773) Bad night (450)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  The struggle is real.

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  (620): I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot (857): The struggle is real. http://tfl.nu/tczd
  Replies (0) Good night (589) Bad night (249)

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