that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
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