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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I love you bro

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• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (716): View more from New York

  Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.

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• (716): View more from New York

  crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America

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• (361): View more from Texas

  Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."

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• (254): View more from Texas

  He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.

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  These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"

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• (305): View more from Florida

  I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys

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