You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize