People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.