He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual