Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?

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(312): Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place? http://tfl.nu/b6u5

Replies (1) Good night (2015) Bad night (735)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone

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(201): now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone http://tfl.nu/mcch

Replies (19) Good night (641) Bad night (4052)
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(281): View more from Texas

They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.

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(281): They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born. http://tfl.nu/is60

Replies (7) Good night (554) Bad night (1538)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly

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(970): Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly http://tfl.nu/eo7f

Replies (71) Good night (559) Bad night (6731)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...

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(203): i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room... http://tfl.nu/dscd

Replies (17) Good night (642) Bad night (8074)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do

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(856): I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do http://tfl.nu/mquj

Replies (34) Good night (3645) Bad night (642)
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(731): View more from Tennessee

I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.

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(731): I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one. http://tfl.nu/nuy4

Replies (9) Good night (2436) Bad night (1032)
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(416): View more from Toronto

I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".

(416): View more from Toronto

That's about an "8" on normal scales.

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(416): I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him". (416): That's about an "8" on normal scales. http://tfl.nu/joyf

Replies (7) Good night (2683) Bad night (882)
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(706): View more from Georgia

Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving

(706): View more from Georgia

Your blankets are not drunk friendly

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(706): Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving (706): Your blankets are not drunk friendly http://tfl.nu/10kf

Replies (2) Good night (799) Bad night (1025)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches

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(604): You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches http://tfl.nu/88ib

Replies (4) Good night (611) Bad night (1230)
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(334): View more from Alabama

Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"

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(334): Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!" http://tfl.nu/kpjr

Replies (4) Good night (987) Bad night (408)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.

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(413): I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing. http://tfl.nu/qpjl

Replies (11) Good night (412) Bad night (1902)
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(317): View more from Indiana

His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv

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(317): His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv http://tfl.nu/yd6c

Replies (2) Good night (776) Bad night (741)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool

(1-781): View more from Massachusetts

The pool is covered.....

(781): View more from Massachusetts

Like that would stop me.

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(781): Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool (1-781): The pool is covered..... (781): Like that would stop me. http://tfl.nu/tch5

Replies (3) Good night (769) Bad night (523)
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(214): View more from Texas

Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight

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(214): Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight http://tfl.nu/7wsd

Replies (1) Good night (488) Bad night (182)

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