drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
