im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
