Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
