it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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