This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize