are you so shy because you have an std?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
