Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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