So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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