guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Fuck me I smell like cheese
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
