i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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