I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
