1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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