No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
