I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Can I color on your dick again?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
