Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
