3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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