you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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