That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
