didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
