I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
