are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
