im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
